Most Important Life Changing Event Essay

There is one thing that happened in my life that changed it forever. This is the day my stepdad, Taylor, died. It started as a normal school day my freshman year. No one came to school because we were about to get off for a holiday, so everyone that showed up went to the auditorium to watch movies. A teacher came looking for me and said that I had to go to the office. I thought I was in trouble or something. When I walked in and saw my grandma and my aunt, I knew something was wrong. They made me sit down and they told me that Taylor had died. My mind automatically went to my mom and little sister and how badly they would freak out. I knew that I had to put my feelings aside and help them as much as possible. When we got back to my house and got out of the car I could already hear my mom screaming and crying hysterically. I went inside and hugged her and I cried but I didn’t let her see because I knew that it would make her cry even more. They hadn’t picked my little sister, Mackenzie, up from school yet, and my mom was going crazy trying to figure out how to tell her that her dad died. I pulled my mom’s best friend into my room and asked her what I needed to do about how we were gonna get money and that she could help me get a second job. I told her how I knew I would have to take care of my mom and sis, but that I was going to need her help. When it got overwhelming, I went outside with her daughter, Linzy, who was one of my best friends and I finally allowed myself to cry until my sister got home. When my mom told her that her daddy was in heaven and that he could never come back she started crying and said, â€Å"does that mean he can’t take us fishing anymore? † Taylor had bought a boat and promised he would take us fishing. It broke my heart to see her like that. Linzy and I couldn’t take it, so we went outside and both cried. When it came time for the funeral, I couldn’t even stay in the room. I knew how badly I’d lose it, so my friends came sit with me outside almost the whole time. I wanted to get away, as far away as possible, but I knew I had to stay for my mom and sister. The entire time the funeral went one was hell. Seeing Taylor lay in the casket motionless, seeing everyone I care about cry their eyes out, and knowing I’d never get the chance to tell him how much I loved him was all too much. I literally wanted to kill myself. After the funeral was over, I pushed all of my hurt aside to take care of my mom and sister. I watched them lose their minds, and there was nothing I could do but be there for them and take care of them. I was like a parent for both of them for almost a year. Over time, they got better little by little, as I continued to get worse. They’re better now, and I can finally grieve. But I still don’t grieve in front of them, because if I do, it makes their pain come back.

Lessons Form the Classroom Essay

A. I think my main strength is that I like interacting with people. In my career thus far I have worked in multi-disciplinary teams, made daily presentations and managed teams so working with people is natural and comfortable for me. I’m friendly, inclusive and approachable. I think this is an asset that will carry me far as a teacher. I have experienced teachers who were intimidating and I found it detrimental to my learning. I want my students to feel comfortable to ask me anything, repeat anything, or explain anything. I think that as time progresses in the classroom I’ll be able to develop good relationships with the students where they feel safe and uninhibited. I am naturally and therefore normally well organised and prepared which I think is a key skill in ELT. At my university induction lecture the speaker said ‘fail to plan, and plan to fail’ which I think was valuable advice and which has stuck with me. Planning my lessons appropriately helps me to better understand what I’m teaching, embeds it in my mind so I’m more confident in delivering it and helps me to predict possible problems and their solutions. I think that as my confidence and skills grow I will be able to compose highly detailed lesson plans that will deliver my objectives. I am a creative person and like devising innovative approaches to problems. I like to challenge the standard to create new ways of doing things. The results have engaged and generated new perspectives. I hope this will translate well into the classroom where I can devise games and exercises that will appeal to the students and accelerate their learning. As my confidence, knowledge and skills develop I plan to combine my own methods into my teaching. My main weakness is my inability to express grammar rules and understand grammatical terminology such as ‘present continuous’. Although my primary school was strict with grammar, punctuation and spelling, we were not taught the labels of grammar terms beyond the basics of nouns, verbs, and adjectives. So whilst I can speak and write sentences that are clear and grammatically correct I am finding the terminology challenging. As an English language teacher this is obviously something that I need to remedy as soon as possible! I am studying several grammar reference books from the suggested reading list and using mind mapping to help me understand and learn the rules. I remind myself that I already know the grammar rules I just don’t know that I know them! I have never used an interactive white board (IWB) before and have historically been reluctant to embrace new technology so I have not made full use of it as yet. As the teachers have used the IWB extensively in classes I have seen how convenient and flexible it is. I am keen to address this challenge as I believe it will be enormously beneficial to me in the classroom and therefore improve and accelerate my learners’ experiences. I am going to take advantage of break times to practise using it to build my confidence and then set myself a deadline to incorporate it into a lesson. I am sure that after using it in a few lessons I will feel more composed and will easily integrate it into classes. I would like to improve my ability to communicate with the students in a more concise and succinct way. I have found that my instructions have been too complicated and lengthy and thus caused confusion. As well as cultivating this skill I’m going to try to integrate more gestures, demonstrations and pictures to resolve the issue. My research has produced a checklist for communication, (concise, concrete, clear, correct, coherent, complete), which I will use to test my instructions going forward. B. I have been impressed with the eliciting skills of the Celta teachers. In particular James Johnson has been demonstrating how to proficiently organise materials and structure questions to draw out desired responses. He is adept at posing questions that produce the target language or lexis. His seamless ability has demonstrated how effective this technique is in encouraging the students to think for themselves rather than simply giving them the answer, keeping them alert and assessing their language level as well as understanding of the concept being taught. In this way he truly engages with the students and thus his lessons are memorable. This is a very unnatural communication for me so to be able to smoothly incorporate this skill into my teaching would be a triumph for me. All of the teachers have a very calm, confident and charming disposition, which pervades the classroom. They are clearly highly skilled and experienced, which generates trust. I think these qualities are fundamental for effective learning. These qualities seem to be intrinsic to the instructors but I’m hoping that over time I will ripen or at least acquire the ability to convey a fraction of this demeanour. C. When I have completed my Celta training I will be just at the beginning of my career so continuing professional development will be paramount to consolidate what I’ve learned so far, keep my skills up to date, learn new and different techniques from other teachers and experts, and keep abreast of industry trends. I love learning and developing myself and regularly take classes, workshops and courses for fun and personal development as well as career development, so I am highly motivated to continue my ELT development. My research has made me aware of various online communities, which could be a great way to exchange ideas. I also intend to stay in touch with my peers on the course so we can continue to learn together, share experiences, ideas, problems and solutions.

Proposal On Deca Commissary Sign in Procedure Assignment

Proposal On Deca Commissary Sign in Procedure - Assignment Example There will be also an enhancement of recognition as all the people that will be signing in, the system will contain their data, and hence, improve the efficiency and security at Deca commissary (Markel, 2012, p. 184). The electronic system of signing in to work will promote the professional growth at the Deca commissary. For instance, the system, such as the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System will go a long way in verifying the status of all the people or customers and hence will grant them the access what is in the commissary, such as the promotional prices. This, in essence, will boost the professional growth of the commissary. The system will ensure there is no going against the policy, hence, promoting the professionalism of the commissary. The electronic system will also ensure those entering the commissary ensure they uphold professionalism. Furthermore, the electronic system of signing-in will ensure there is the connectedness of all the departments and employees within the commissary. This is possible by having the data time of each department and employees, and hence, it will be easy to have the data of all employees through electronic means. Therefore, this paper will embark on the problems of the current honor system of signing in and the possible solutions unto them. There exist several problems of using the current system of signing in, in which case it entails writing downtime in books, especially when writing the time of entering the commissary and time of leaving the commissary. One of the problems that such a system poses is the security threat. Security is remarkably crucial for all the employees that work in the commissary, including the whole of commissary and its properties.  

A Teachers Role in the Lives of Students Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words - 1

A Teachers Role in the Lives of Students - Essay Example These qualities include being honest, patient, humble, understanding, affectionate and exhibiting an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. The teacher as a role model must have some â€Å"sterling qualities of head and heart, which the child gets impressed by† (Matthew, n.d.) A teacher is also a provider of experiences. Teachers spend a lot of time with their students, as such, they must be able to provide an environment which is free of fear but rather, one which is a â€Å"warm and protective environment but at the same time professional† (Csun.edu, n.d.). A teacher’s role goes beyond textbooks and the course syllabus. They help the child experience the challenges that go with education. The learning experiences that teachers impart are not confined to the ABCs or the 123s; they also teach how life is beyond the four walls of the classroom. Through the teacher, a child learns how to become a student, a classmate, a friend, a leader, a follower and a responsible citizen of the country. These experiences are provided through lectures, role-playing activities, and extra-curricular activities. Students are able to experience independence depending on the activities introduced by the teacher. Teachers guide students in facing the different chal lenges that life offers. The teacher as an interactor stimulates students towards classroom interactions. The interaction should not only be between student and teacher but also between the student and the other students. As interactors, teachers must act as facilitators so that students interact well with each other (Mwalim, 2011). Moreover, the students must be motivated to become creative and be critical thinkers. On the issue of time spent by children in front of the computer, there are several statements which a teacher may use to help a child expand, specify, problem solves and clarify.  

Richard Branson and the Virgin Group Coursework Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Richard Branson and the Virgin Group - Coursework Example The group’s activities span such disparate lines of business as music, airlines, rail transport, movie industry, financial services, telecommunications, soft drinks, space travel, tourism, health services and much more. As can be expected, some of the ventures did not live up to the expectations, inviting criticism of the limits to which a brand’s power can be stretched by reckless and unrelated diversification. At the same time, the unique leadership that Branson provides with commonsense approach, changing corporate and functional strategies continuously, laying focus on corporate governance, customer satisfaction and employee-motivation belie the flamboyant extrovert who exploits every opportunity to enhance Virgin’s brand power for success of the various ventures under its umbrella. The case study explores the story of an entrepreneur who dares to challenge established notions of limits of brand dilution, diversification into unrelated areas, value of commons ense in business, and informality in organizational/communication matters. Talking to the Forbes magazine on 1 February 1997, Branson said, â€Å"If you can run one company, you can run any company. You can learn the nuances of a particular industry in two months. And it is so great being in so many different businesses. That is the fun of it† (Anon., n.d., coursework.info). The last part is a give away (the fun and enjoyment of being in business) for the Branson persona. Occasional failure or short-on-performance does not dilute Branson’s vision for making Virgin as one of the world’s leading brands. Failures While the Virgin Record Company and related businesses were highly successful, Branson’s move into the highly competitive airlines industry and challenging the major established players with cheap travel plans was not so successful. In fact, in the early 1990s, Branson had to sell off his first love, the music company, in order to support the falter ing Virgin Atlantic Airways, which faced intense competition from the British Airways, the dominant player. Although Virgin Atlantic Airways started off well since its inception in 1984 and went public in 1986, the stock market crash of 1987 led to crash of its share prices forcing Branson to buy back the public stock and turn it into a private firm once again (Anon., n.d., coursework.info). The Virgin Group’s cable company NTL planned acquisition of a stake in the media and entertainment business which was dominated by Rupert Murdoch, by acquiring nearly 20% stake in the company ITV (Barr, 2006; Clothier, CNN, 2006). These plans were thwarted by Rupert Murdoch’s BSkyB, who outbid NTL. This episode exposed Branson’s inability to accept defeat in grace. Another criticism of the Virgin Group has been its inability to fully integrate local cultural nuances into its management policies and branded products. In order to overcome this situation, Branson brought in a w ell-known marketing specialist Ashley Stockwell, as Virgin’s Brand Marketing Director (Anon., n.d., coursework.info). Branson’s foray into the movie industry with the acquisition of MGM in 1995 was again a failure, which he readily accepted and described it as a premature decision (Anon., n.d., coursework.info). Reasons for success Branson’

World Vision research Paper Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

World Vision research Paper - Essay Example World Vision is a company based on Christian partnerships all around the world and they aim to use their Christian values in serving mankind and giving back to the world. They work towards bringing children and families out of their state of poverty and help them utilize their full potential in their lives. They also aim to tackle any injustice brought upon these people, in order to improve their standard of living. World Vision provides emergency services to disaster stricken areas. They arrange immediate relief programs for people who find themselves in conflict areas. This relief can be in the form of food, shelter, financial aid etc. In their time, World Vision has helped earthquake victims in countries like India, Taiwan, and Turkey, tsunami stricken nations near Indian Ocean, and famine-stricken areas in Ethiopia and North Korea. Other than this, they have also helped war refugees in places such as Angola and Kosovo and hurricane victims in Central America. World Vision also wo rks with the media to spread awareness about poverty and helping those in need. Community wide programs are run for fundraising. World vision explains to the general public the causes and explanations for poverty and injustice and the consequence they entail. World Vision has also been working to advocate to the US government the need to establish food as a right, in order to put an end to global hunger. It has been fighting for the increase in the budget for foreign disaster assistance, global health and food aid. World Vision also runs a sponsorship program where they help the needy children and their families. Through Child Sponsorship, World Vision provides education and skills, health care, good sanitation, access to clean drinking water, and the required nutrition to these children. The company believes that by positively altering the lives of these needy children, it can encourage the development and growth of the society in a positive manner. World Vision makes its money thr ough different funding programs. It runs a child sponsorship program where individuals, families or institutions like churches or schools can sponsor the children in need. They can also provide funds for any of the projects being run. The money gained from these funds is then divided to be spent on the programs, on further fundraising, and on the management and running of the company. People find an incentive to give funds to the company because it is a reliable source and whoever gives money with the intention of helping the society can be ensured that their money will be put to the right use. World Vision has been in the picture for long enough to earn a credible reputation for itself. Its credibility is its strength that helps it in gaining funds. World Vision is one of the leaders in its category. It was one of the very first organizations that were set up to help those in need and to aid the growth and development of underprivileged societies. The product of World Vision is the relief and assistance provided to overcome poverty and injustice and it falls under the category of relief and development sector. It is provided either directly to the recipients or to the respective governments of the countries the victims belong to. World Vision started off in 1960s with the provision of food, clothing and medical care to people stuck by any form of disaster. In 1970s, World Vision expanded their efforts and the company went international. Their services also diversified. After providing emergency relief, the company started providing vocational and agricultural training to families. They also taught people the set up and functioning of small businesses in order to enable them to earn money

Public international law Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2000 words - 1

Public international law - Essay Example The result is often referred to as crystallization.3 In general, national courts are not expected to apply national legislation in a way that is inconsistent with international treaties, but there is no expectation that the inconsistent legislation is deemed null and void.4 This may sound simple enough. However, since law is not a science, national courts are not always consistent in their respective approaches to customary international law.5 Essentially, the problem begins with national constitutions. National courts must first begin by reference to their own constitutions.6 National constitutions determine the status of international law within the national legal order.7 In this paper, the difficulties implicit in national constitutions in shaping and defining the relationship between national law and international law are examined in the context of the UK’s constitution. The extent to which the reciprocal application of international and national laws by national courts an d international tribunals function effectively, is compromised by the interpretation of and application of international treaties at the domestic level. ... Complicating matters, some constitutions may even fail to incorporate international treaties.8 The UK provides an even more interesting enigma in that it does not have a written constitution. The UK’s constitution is comprised of a convention, common law and various statutory instruments.9 The difficulty for the UK, is manifested by the fact that state constitutions will generally direct how and where an international treaty stands in relation to national statutes. For instance, if the treaty is to prevail over national statutes where there is a conflict between the two, the Constitution will make this declaration. The UK’s constitutional conventions however, do not make any such declaration but merely establishes that Parliament remains supreme and has the ability to make and repeal any law.10 The UK’s unwritten constitution is usually characterized as dualist in nature, although there is evidence that the UK’s constitution is also monist in nature.11 By way of background, the relationship between international law and national law is fraught by two primary concerns. The first is theoretical in nature and commands attention to whether or not pursuant to the monist doctrine, both legal regimes form part of the international legal regime, or whether they are two different legal regimes according to the dualist doctrine. The second concern is practical in nature and involves ascertaining the approach for resolving conflicts in international and national law.12 The theoretical and practical implications for the relationship between national and international law from the perspective of the UK’s constitution are compromised in that the UK’s national courts do not have a constitutional document by which to determine the

Second Reading report Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 500 words

Second Reading report - Essay Example She held strong beliefs on the need for social service as a calling from the Deity. At this point, I concur with her assertion that every human being is tasked with social responsibility and she puts it in a way that can be explained as God’s delegation to humanity. In addition, interprets the words of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Micah, or Amos as pleas for humanity to enhance justice by denouncing arrogance and iniquity. It is convincing to conclude that Coles achieves his agenda through the call of service to eliminate the rife selfishness by denouncing the culture of narcissism (185). Similar to Coles’ call of service, Mother Teresa utilizes the â€Å"Words to Love† to urge humanity to accept divine intervention to represent Jesus on earth. Her words are convincing and sufficient to grant concurrence. She makes sense by asking humanity to spread the prayer of love. In a broad context, it is through love that individuals can embrace community service. In addition, it is only through having love for neighbors that we can be a representation of Jesus. I concur to the fact that by offering community service and care for others, the love would be as profound as shining Jesus’ light on others through us. John F. Kennedy in the â€Å"Special Message to Congress on the Peace Corps March 1, 1961† deviates from the divine calling aspect of social service to the call of duty aspect. He adopts a global perspective of community service by establishing the Peace Corps. The agency is tasked with providing skilled labor in foreign countries. I hold similar opinions to those represented in the article and concur strongly with J.F. Kennedy’s assertion that the future of freedom lies in the ability for men to live in dignity whereby hunger, poverty, and ignorance become a thing of the past (678). He asserts that economic development entails skilled labor towards the societal demands. The societal demands entail offering to teach in the

Research in Psychology Mozart Effect Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 2500 words

Research in Psychology Mozart Effect - Essay Example The third group was the control group and was subjected to no music at all. The first group was tested for the alternative hypothesis and was reported to demonstrate a higher level of success result on the memory test scores whereas the members of the second group lagged behind in performing well on the memory test scores. However, in addition to this, the positive effect of rock music has been tracked and noticed which has then been incorporated and discussed in the study. The Mozart's effect was first coined by Alfred Tomatis who observed that Mozart's music created the greatest healing effect on human body. His proposition was that listening to the composition of Mozart can enhance the general intellect level in human beings along with sharpening of the spatial understanding skills and capabilities. For quite some time, the discipline of mind that is psychology has developed independently by divorcing itself from the science of the brain networking and its functioning, that is neuroscience. Psychologists have always been interested in our mental functioning and their capacities with special interest and focus on how we learn, remember, and imagine. The interest of neuroscientists in the development and functioning of brain has led to the furthering of studies which now encompass our mental software from the brain along with the working and performance of our neural hardware. Don Campbell in his book The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power o... Don Campbell in his book The Mozart Effect: Tapping the Power of Music to Heal the Body, Strengthen the Mind and Unlock the Creative Spirit has stressed on the positive effects on the vocal, emotional and general skills related to spatial intelligence in direct correlation with Mozart's effect. In addition, he has talked about the outcomes on improved concentration and memory, enhanced creative progression of the right-brain and strengthening in common intuitive thinking skills. Background Information on the Topic It is believed that Mozart's music serves as a carrier, in that we use its beat or melody to help encode the content for relaxation and elation. Later on Rauscher, K.Y. and Shaw (1993) carried out an experiment on the basis of 'Mozart's effect', called the Music and Spatial Task Performance. It was found that the participants who had listened to Mozart's music scored 8-9 point higher as compared to those who either listened to another piece of music or listened to nothing at all. The piece of music used for this study was Mozart's 'Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major, K448'.Campbell (1997) further supported the study. However, this study was criticized by Steele (1999) who had tried to replicate the original study but failed to find any improvements Creation of Essential Question The essential question would be, that is there any presence of a positive cause and effect relationship on the memory status of the students who listen to Mozart's music, as it is propagated in the theory of Mozart's effect. HypothesisThe hypothesis that is to be tested for this study is, "Listening to Mozart's music has no effect on human memory" Review of Literature William Forde Thompson, E. Glenn Schellenberg, Gabriela Husain (2001) have

Analysis of General Environment Essay Example for Free

Analysis of General Environment Essay HSBC Bank (China) is one of the first foreign banks to incorporate locally in mainland. As a foreign-owned bank, HSBC has the largest services network among foreign banks, targeting the middle-class individuals and business-oriented individuals in China. With the globalization, China is seen as the biggest market in the world. The general environment will bring great effect to the future development of the HSBC (China). The specific analysis is as follow. 1. Demographic Environment China has the largest population in the globe that the number has already reached 1. 4 billion. Most of the people are living in the east and middle areas. In other words, the middle and above-middle-class people assemble in these two areas with the demand of bank service. (National Bureau of Statistic of China, 2011) As the societal pressure growing heavier, less people are willing to give birth to baby so that the problem of population aging arises. According to the reform and opening policies, the east and south areas are better developed than the central and the west. People in the coastal region have higher average income than others. As a result, HSBC (China) mostly build its banking network in the east and south areas, which are so called first-tier cities. Meanwhile, it has also expanded branches in some second-tier cities in the central area of China. 2. Economic Environment As an emerging market, China is developing at a very fast speed with continually growing Gross Domestic Product as well as high export surplus. However, in terms of global environment, the world still not recovers from the economic recession. The financial market in mainland has been impacted that the exchange rate of RMB has gone higher and higher, which has been result in the inflation. To better control the financial market, the interest rate has been increased to limit the cash flow in the market and personal saving rate goes up that people are encouraged to save money in banks rather than investing. Another economic factor putting effect on HBCS in China is the unemployment rate. China government devotes into keeping the unemployment rate low and stable, because once the rate rises sharply, this will destroy the harmony of the society. Consequently, HSBC (China) should take this factor into account to obtain trust and support from the local government. 3. Political Environment In China, banks are supervised by the China Banking Regulatory Commission. There are many barriers setting in front of those foreign banks in China, such as foreign banks are not permitted to establish a business of any scale in the mainland, since the Chinese legislations limit on how many local banking operations can lean on foreign banks. On the other hand, the new parties have held the power, which means new policies and new reform may come into being. Different policies and reform will significantly affect the existence of HSBC in China. With the improvement of the capital market, the financial environment will be deregulated and gain a more loosening environment. Moreover, foreign banks in China have to be charged tax, which will increase the cost and lower the profits of HSBC in mainland. As the compulsory education popularizing, more and more people think highly of the banking service. They become to have good knowledge to the banking items and are tied closely to those services. 4. Socio-cultural Environment Banks serve for people’s demand and need. People’s attitude towards banks is influenced by the social-cultural environment. In China, customers are more conservative that they prefer saving money. Therefore, more emphasis should be put on the retail banking services in mainland. Recent years, with the impact of financial crisis, people are less trusting banks. Banks are seen as greedy organizations by the public, which was result from arbitrary banking charges. 5. Technological Environment Technological change can bring new style of business to organizations. It can change both the product and business way. Since the constant improvement of the Internet, HSBC has launched its online banking services in China. People can have an electronic account to check user’s balances and transactions, make transfer as well as pay bills. Simultaneously, doing business through the Internet not only save the time for customers, but also simplify the business process for HSBC so that they can cut large amount of cost. Furthermore, the development of the mobile phone also benefits the banking services. People can easily access to their account through the mobile Internet. Secondly, particular applications have been invented for mobile users to manipulate their banking service. For example, HSBC has its own applications which can be used for IOS (iphone) and Android operating systems. These applications are convenient to use and also help HSBC to saving labor as well as time cost. 6. Global Environment The global environment is somewhat cannot be controlled by the organizations itself. The global economy stays in a recession for a period of time and seems to be difficult to recover from it. The subsequent influences of the financial crisis affect the economy in China. HSBC (China) has earned less profit these years. Although the macro environment is not so optimistic, China is still the hugest potential market around the world. Besides China, there are still many emerging countries appear in the world, like India. In the future, HSBC (China) should pay attention to create more advantage competitiveness than those HSBC banks in other international regions. Reference Eternity in an hour. (2009). Environmental Analysis-HSBC(A Marketing Perspective). Available from: http://cloudchronicler.net/2009/10/14/environmental-analysis-hsbc-draft-copy/ HSBC Bank (China) Company Limited Fact Sheet. (2013). Available from: http://www.hsbc.com.cn/1/PA_1_083Q9FFKG80E20RA9Q00000000/content/china/about/docs/factsheeten.pdf HSBC Bank (China). (2013). About HSBC (China). Available from: http://www.hsbc.com.cn/1/2/hsbc-china-cn Sina News. (2012). The War of the Interest Rate. Available from: http://news.dichan.sina.com.cn/2012/08/02/539030.html Studymode. (2012). A PEST Analysis Report of HSBC. Available from: http://www.studymode.com/essays/Pest-Analysis-Hsbc-Holding-Plc-1206636.html The Wall Street Journal. (2011). In China, Foreign Banks Still Lag Behind. Available from:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904491704576574281790473152.html

Organisational Culture of Etisalat

Organisational Culture of Etisalat Etisalat – Organizational Culture Executive Summary: The below discussion is a research into the organizational culture aspect of the company Etisalat. In this respect we could say that the discussion gives an idea of the concept of organizational culture and a company brief of Etisalat. Next the discussion reveals the organizational culture of the company Etisalat and explains the same and draws an alignment of organizational culture of the company with the Hofstede theory. Next the discussion discusses the positive aspects of the company culture. The conclusion draws one’s attention to the negative impact of the Etisalat organizational culture and finally the discussion ends with recommendations for better performance of the company in future Introduction: The aspect of organizational culture comprises a very important aspect of the management studies of the current times. In fact the feature of organizational culture also reveal a considerable portion of the organization work ambience and the strategic approaches that the company will be having in dealing the various situations. In other words the organizational culture represents the views, beliefs, values and the opinions of the members of the organization, both the employees and the management of the company. Etisalat or the Emirates telecommunications Corporations is the largest telecom company of the region. The company was initially a British company which was later bought out by the government of the nation of UAE and nearly 60% of the shares was retained by the government of the nation and the rest of the 40% of the shares were made available for the general masses. In the following discussion we will be illustrating certain aspects of the organizational culture of the company Etisalat – the global telecom giant, which has a organizational culture much hued by the inherent beliefs of the Islam society. Body of the Discussion: In this part of the discussion we will be looking at the various aspects of the organizational culture that prevails in the context of the company Etisalat. Etisalat Organizational Culture: The company Etisalat or the Emirates telecommunication Corporation was initially incepted to provide a world class telecommunication system to the UAE. However in the coming times the company did expand in the other parts of the Middle East and also parts of Asia. Currently the company is operating in nearly 18 countries all over the world and has a client base of more than 150 million users. In the course of its growth we see that the company has maintained a very employee oriented approach. One of the most initial and crucial aspect to which the management of the company has paid detailed attention is the development of its employees. The element of employee dynamism and its enhancement does comprise to be an essential feature of the company’s internal dynamics. Once again we see that the element of ethics again is a very important criterion for the company of Etisalat. As an essential feature of the organizational culture both the management and the employees of the company do have very positive attitude towards the feature of training and development. In this case we see that the management of the company do have a very positive and keen attitude towards training its employees so that they come up with better and innovative ideas in the future that would be elemental in the development of the company. Once again we see that the organizational culture of the company does reflect that the management of the company is quite forward looking and progressive in nature and is interested in an aggressive marketing endeavour as per which the company is making emergence in new companies and is also strengthening its position through acquisitions and mergers. Again the company culture seems to be pretty much in sync with the commercially progressive culture of the nation of the United Arab Emirates. Since we see that the company in its endeavour to enter new markets are also not hesitant to make some considerable investment into the genre of market and brand building. In addition to the same we see that the job responsibility of all the elements and the members of the company are treated with an equal amount of importance and significance. In this case we see that the managers and the team leads of the company do like to pay a close level of attention to the performance standards of all the team members. Favouritism is not fostered in the Company as the same could lead to some very serious consequences. In this connection one could explain that a collective performance stands as imperative as per the culture of the company. On the other hand we also observe that the company tries to rise above the gender bias that is but a marked feature of the United Arab Emirates society. We do observe that some of the senior and the significant positions are again chaired by the female employees of the firm and the firm also encourages a larger recruitment of the female candidates irrespective of the position. Truly in the current times as per the tides of globalization, the company has raised much above the Middle Eastern values and has rightfully become a global organization in terms of the organizational culture. Organizational Culture Theories: One of the very old and often used theories that is applied to explain the concept of Organizational Culture is that of the Hofstede theory. Hofstede in his theory of organizational culture has been pressing on the factor that different geographical regions and nations does contribute to the fabrication of the organizational culture. The element of organization culture does reflect the facet of mental programs and thinking patterns and the process of social actions. In this respect it needs to be said that element of organizational culture also does greatly depend on the facet of the ethics and the culture of the society and the nation as a whole in which the company is operational. In the scope of the theory we can see that Hofstede has reflected on certain facets that will help a company to have a progressive and forward looking organizational culture. In this case we see that the noted scholar did happen to press on the facts that the power distance or the distance between the several layers of the organization has to be minimized. Once again the company has to learn to avoid uncertainty that might arise in the future. The company culture has concentrate on both the elements of individualism as well as that of collectivism. The company must also rise above the facets of feminism and Masculinity and must also be having both Long term and Short term orientation. In this respect we can say that the organization Etisalat is quite in alignment with the belief and the theories of the concept that was propagated by Hofstede. To illustrate the same we can explain the following points: The element of power distance is kept in mind and is followed by the management of the company Etisalat. We see that within the company in order to get better and innovative ideas from the elements of the company from all the layers of the hierarchical system, consolidation and centralization of power is generally discouraged and an open and cordial forum is maintained as per which the various employees of the company can come up with various ideas and concepts. In terms of uncertainty avoidance we see that the company looks forward to try only those ideas and concepts that seem quite tangible and what the employees of the company pull through. The company again tries to serve and deliver results to both its employees as well as the customers alike. Once again in the case of collectivism and individualism we see that the company do maintain a fine balance as per which the performance of all the individual employees are kept in mind and that the performance of the teams are pondered upon which together balances collectivism and also individualism. Although the society of the nation UAE do have a bias towards the male elements of the society as per which we see that the best options in all the fields are kept aside for the males of the society, yet in the case of Etisalat we see that the company does give a fair chance to the female employees who are also working in some of the most significant positions of the company. From the last aspect we see that the in terms of the long term orientations the eastern countries are given a preference than the short term western countries. Positive and negative impacts: It has often been cited that the feature of organizational culture often plays a very important role in the development of the organization and also the various operational and strategic styles and patterns that the same incorporates. In this case we can hence conclude that the element of organizational culture has a prominent role in the success or the failure of the company. In fact the decisive decisions that the management often takes are quite regularly influenced by the organizational culture of the company. In the case of the company Etisalat we see that the situation is certainly no different. In this case we observe that the organizational culture has a number of positive impacts on the company. They are as follows: The organizational culture helps the employees of the company to come up with new ideas as a result of which we see that the company always has some new idea up its sleeve that the management tries out for the better performance of the company in the future. It also enhances the personal skills and the confidence of the company. The working ambience of the company turns out to be a rather positive one and we see that the company and its employees have a positive attitude that helps them proceed towards growth and success. Quintessentially we see that the organizational culture does have a strong influence on the agenda of the company going global. It could be said that the forward moving attitude of the company’s internal elements finally gave the Company and its management the impetus to move ahead and move into the foreign and the maiden markets of the other countries in the Middle East, Africa and now in Asia. Once again we also see that the company has a presence in the nations of the UK and the USA. We also see that the company other than the telecommunication industry also is operational in the other industries such as the internet industry and the industry of voice trafficking. This diversification which is again an important element in the current times of stiff competition is a product of the organizational culture that has given rise to innovative ideas. The company again has made some very unique contributions to the up gradation of the female employees and has given career options to several woman of the nation. This has also helped the image of the company on the global scenario. Conclusion: On a concluding note it could be said that the element of organizational culture does play a very important role in the development and the growth of a country. This is one aspect that has been made evident from the case of the Company Emirates telecommunication Corporation or the brand Etisalat. However we can say that the organizational culture of the company has led the company to rest a comparatively low emphasis on the marketing of its products in the western world such as the US and the European markets. However these markets could prove to be rather important to the profit and the interest of the company in the longer run. In this case we see that the company could might as well think of options and plans that will help the firm to get a proper and strong introduction in the western market. Recommendation: The company in its endeavour to get an introduction in the western market could look forward to come up with aggressive marketing endeavours so that the company could have a noted and a marked entry into the markets of the UK and the US. Once again the company since is already quite a big name in the Middle East and the African region could start by giving some rebates or introductory offers on its connections. Moreover we also see that the company is operational in just the communication or the service part of the business, with a passing phase the company could also get into the business of manufacturing handsets that could also be introduced to the markets in different parts of the globe.

Education Of The Middle Ages Essay -- essays research papers

Education of the middle ages Education, as we know it today, did not exist in the Middle Ages. Illiteracy was dominant among the population. Scribes were the exception to the rule. Churches were the main source of knowledge and schooling. Real interest in learning grew along with the development of towns. The towns’ officials needed to be educated. At the same time a need for legal institutions was created and so started the university phenomenon. Modern education was on its way. There were few schools in the Middle ages, so everyone had limited education. Even the Lord of the Manor was often unable to read or write. Some of the first schools were Cathedral schools. As well as Parish, Monastic, and Palace schools. Here people learned a particular role in society. Naturally the primary job was training the clergy in their professional duties as priests of the Christian people. The bishop was the head of the complex and he had a staff of priest to help him with the several of the diocese. These skills that were taught here were reading, singing of hymns, church law, writing of documents and the performing of Church duties and sacraments. An example of educating for a specific role in life were the Knights who had learn how to fight with various weapons so that they could fight for their king.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The common people, however, had no way of being educated other than going a monastic school. However, if they did this, they had to donate their proper ty to the church. The people who went to this school later become monks or nuns. They had to follow three important laws: chastity, obedience, and the law or the lord if not followed they would be thrown out of the monastery. Most monasteries had a rule of silence: monks could not talk which other except for a short period of time. During meals one monk might read passages from the bible while the others mediated. Even though monks’ lives seem to be so hard it was the best place to go for a good education for anybody from a king to a beggar (Monasteries 488-499).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Women took part in monastic life by living in a convent under a direction of an abbess. Known as nuns, they wore simple clothes and wrapped a white cloth called a wimple around their face and neck. They alternated prayer with spinning, weaving, and embroiling items such as tapestries and banners. They... ...ssance 220). The invention of the printing press in the mid-15th century made books more widely available and increased literacy rates. But school attendance did not increase greatly during the Renaissance. Elementary schools educated middle-class children while lower-class children received little, if any, formal schooling. Children of the nobility and upper classes attended humanist secondary schools (Bailey 112). Educational opportunities for women improved slightly during the Renaissance, especially for the upper classes. Some girls from wealthy families attended schools of the royal court or received private lessons at home. The curriculum studied by young women was still based on the belief that only certain subjects, such as art, music, needlework, dancing, and poetry, were suited for females. For working-class girls, especially rural peasants, education was still limited to training in household duties such as cooking and sewing (Couglin, A8). As it shows education the Middle Ages seems to be so diverse and a starting point for modern education. But the reader must always keep in mind only about five percent of the whole population did all of these educational activities. Education Of The Middle Ages Essay -- essays research papers Education of the middle ages Education, as we know it today, did not exist in the Middle Ages. Illiteracy was dominant among the population. Scribes were the exception to the rule. Churches were the main source of knowledge and schooling. Real interest in learning grew along with the development of towns. The towns’ officials needed to be educated. At the same time a need for legal institutions was created and so started the university phenomenon. Modern education was on its way. There were few schools in the Middle ages, so everyone had limited education. Even the Lord of the Manor was often unable to read or write. Some of the first schools were Cathedral schools. As well as Parish, Monastic, and Palace schools. Here people learned a particular role in society. Naturally the primary job was training the clergy in their professional duties as priests of the Christian people. The bishop was the head of the complex and he had a staff of priest to help him with the several of the diocese. These skills that were taught here were reading, singing of hymns, church law, writing of documents and the performing of Church duties and sacraments. An example of educating for a specific role in life were the Knights who had learn how to fight with various weapons so that they could fight for their king.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The common people, however, had no way of being educated other than going a monastic school. However, if they did this, they had to donate their proper ty to the church. The people who went to this school later become monks or nuns. They had to follow three important laws: chastity, obedience, and the law or the lord if not followed they would be thrown out of the monastery. Most monasteries had a rule of silence: monks could not talk which other except for a short period of time. During meals one monk might read passages from the bible while the others mediated. Even though monks’ lives seem to be so hard it was the best place to go for a good education for anybody from a king to a beggar (Monasteries 488-499).   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Women took part in monastic life by living in a convent under a direction of an abbess. Known as nuns, they wore simple clothes and wrapped a white cloth called a wimple around their face and neck. They alternated prayer with spinning, weaving, and embroiling items such as tapestries and banners. They... ...ssance 220). The invention of the printing press in the mid-15th century made books more widely available and increased literacy rates. But school attendance did not increase greatly during the Renaissance. Elementary schools educated middle-class children while lower-class children received little, if any, formal schooling. Children of the nobility and upper classes attended humanist secondary schools (Bailey 112). Educational opportunities for women improved slightly during the Renaissance, especially for the upper classes. Some girls from wealthy families attended schools of the royal court or received private lessons at home. The curriculum studied by young women was still based on the belief that only certain subjects, such as art, music, needlework, dancing, and poetry, were suited for females. For working-class girls, especially rural peasants, education was still limited to training in household duties such as cooking and sewing (Couglin, A8). As it shows education the Middle Ages seems to be so diverse and a starting point for modern education. But the reader must always keep in mind only about five percent of the whole population did all of these educational activities.

Three Essays on Proust :: Essays Papers

Three Essays on Proust Introduction In Candace Vogler’s Philosophical Perspectives on the Humanities class last winter, we were asked to write six short essays relating Marcel Proust’s Swann’s Way to several cognitive philosophy texts, including Rene Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy and George Berkeley’s Dialogues between Hylas and Philonous. Our task was to make the ideas of Proust, Descartes, and Berkeley communicate with one another—to juxtapose and compare their ideas about what constitutes experience, what constitutes divinity, what is knowing, what is being. This is what these three essays attempt to address. A note on the texts: Proust’s Swann’s Way is the first volume of his eight-volume continuous narrative Remembrance of Things Past or In Search of Lost Times. (In the original French, it is A la recherche du temps perdu.) It is the story of a man’s life, a first-person memoir, a fictional autobiography. Swann’s Way is the story of this character’s love for his mother and for the girl Gilberte and his retelling of his friend Swann’s love for the woman Odette. In class, we called the un-named character/narrator "Marcel"—"old Marcel" when he is the grown-up man recounting the story of his childhood and "young Marcel" when he is the child. Marcel Proust is a distinct entity—of course, the author of the novel. Swann’s Way is written in four books, the Overture, Combray, Swann in Love, and Place-Names: The Name, all of which are mentioned in the essays. Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy questions and defines knowledge and existence. Descartes too, uses a first-person voice, whom we called "the Meditator." It is the Meditator who goes through the method of progressive doubt and re-founds all knowledge on the basis of "the cogito": Thus, after everything has been most carefully weighed, it must finally be established that "I am, I exist" is necessarily true every time I put it forward or conceive it in my mind. Berkeley’s Dialogues between Hylas and Philonous is an argument between the Cartesian thinker Hylas and the Berkelean Philonous. In the first of these dialogues, Berkley argues that the Cartesian notion of substance is incoherent and that the word "matter" as Descartes uses it is meaningless. Essay One All these memories, superimposed upon one another, now formed a single mass, but had not so far coalesced

The Theme of Death in Haydn Middletons The Lie of the Land :: Middleton Lie of the Land Essays

The Theme of Death in Haydn Middleton's The Lie of the Land Haydn Middleton's The Lie of the Land is a complex book filled with many themes. One of them, which I focused on, is the theme of death. Death seems to be shown as a means to an end. In the beginning, David sees death as an inevitable, horrible event that he must face up to all too soon. "I'm going to die" (p. 16) David states to Rachel during his first visit to the Samaritan Center. "I know I've got to die, Rachel but I'm a coward" (p. 18). David's death won't be one of the ordinary. David is one of the chosen. He is one of the sons of the sky. He is tormented by the woman's voice, the one who chose him, who is always overshadowing him. The woman, possibly the angel of death, has an elaborate plan laid out for David. It began when he was first conceived and will continue on until the day that he dies and beyound. "In her vindictiveness she would call these new sons of the sky westward. And, at the gateway to Albion, she would make them perform, in that brightest light that sits forever upon the darkness, the dance of death..." (p. 85). The island of Albion seems to be referred to as hell. David speaks of being in contact with "...the keeper of the gateway to hell" (p. 18). The island is believed to be a "...rendezvous for the souls of the dead" (p. 79). When the time comes the woman will call to the sons of the sky and take David to the island of the dead. David didn't fully understand his fate until it was explained to him by his stepfather, Emrys. Later in life, when David is married and a son of his own, the power of the woman took over his mind and body. She willed him to committ one of the worst crimes possible. He took the life of another human being. And in the process he lost his own life as well. Not literally, but he lost his family and his soul. He had nothing. "I am the son of the sky, he thought. And after so many years, he knew what that meant. He knew that he would dance before his time. And he knew, too, glancing down at his child, that there would be more than one end" (p. The Theme of Death in Haydn Middleton's The Lie of the Land :: Middleton Lie of the Land Essays The Theme of Death in Haydn Middleton's The Lie of the Land Haydn Middleton's The Lie of the Land is a complex book filled with many themes. One of them, which I focused on, is the theme of death. Death seems to be shown as a means to an end. In the beginning, David sees death as an inevitable, horrible event that he must face up to all too soon. "I'm going to die" (p. 16) David states to Rachel during his first visit to the Samaritan Center. "I know I've got to die, Rachel but I'm a coward" (p. 18). David's death won't be one of the ordinary. David is one of the chosen. He is one of the sons of the sky. He is tormented by the woman's voice, the one who chose him, who is always overshadowing him. The woman, possibly the angel of death, has an elaborate plan laid out for David. It began when he was first conceived and will continue on until the day that he dies and beyound. "In her vindictiveness she would call these new sons of the sky westward. And, at the gateway to Albion, she would make them perform, in that brightest light that sits forever upon the darkness, the dance of death..." (p. 85). The island of Albion seems to be referred to as hell. David speaks of being in contact with "...the keeper of the gateway to hell" (p. 18). The island is believed to be a "...rendezvous for the souls of the dead" (p. 79). When the time comes the woman will call to the sons of the sky and take David to the island of the dead. David didn't fully understand his fate until it was explained to him by his stepfather, Emrys. Later in life, when David is married and a son of his own, the power of the woman took over his mind and body. She willed him to committ one of the worst crimes possible. He took the life of another human being. And in the process he lost his own life as well. Not literally, but he lost his family and his soul. He had nothing. "I am the son of the sky, he thought. And after so many years, he knew what that meant. He knew that he would dance before his time. And he knew, too, glancing down at his child, that there would be more than one end" (p.

The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 2. EVASION

I FELT ODDLY BUOYANT AS I WALKED FROM SPANISH toward the cafeteria, and it wasn't just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it. Maybe it was the knowledge that my sentence was served and I was a free woman again. Or maybe it wasn't anything to do with me specifically. Maybe it was the atmosphere of freedom that hung over the entire campus. School was winding down, and, for the senior class especially, there was a perceptible thrill in the air. Freedom was so close it was touchable, taste-able. Signs of it were everywhere. Posters crowded together on the cafeteria walls, and the trashcans wore a colorful skirt of spilled-over fliers: reminders to buy yearbooks, class rings, and announcements; deadlines to order graduation gowns, hats, and tassels; neon- bright sales pitches – the juniors campaigning for class office; ominous, rose-wreathed advertisements for this year's prom. The big dance was this coming weekend, but I had an ironclad promise from Edward that I would not be subjected to that again. After all, I'd already had that human experience. No, it must be my personal freedom that lightened me today. The ending of the school year did not give me the pleasure it seemed to give the other students. Actually, I felt nervous to the point of nausea whenever I thought of it. I tried to not think of it. But it was hard to escape such an omnipresent topic as graduation. â€Å"Have you sent your announcements, yet?† Angela asked when Edward and I sat down at our table. She had her light brown hair pulled back into a sloppy ponytail instead of her usual smooth hairdo, and there was a slightly frantic look about her eyes. Alice and Ben were already there, too, on either side of Angela. Ben was intent over a comic book, his glasses sliding down his narrow nose. Alice was scrutinizing my boring jeans-and-a-t-shirt outfit in a way that made me self-conscious. Probably plotting another makeover. I sighed. My indifferent attitude to fashion was a constant thorn in her side. If I'd allow it, she'd love to dress me every day – perhaps several times a day – like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll. â€Å"No,† I answered Angela. â€Å"There's no point, really. Rene knows when I'm graduating. Who else is there?† â€Å"How about you, Alice?† Alice smiled. â€Å"All done.† â€Å"Lucky you.† Angela sighed. â€Å"My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it.† â€Å"I'll help you,† I volunteered. â€Å"If you don't mind my awful handwriting.† Charlie would like that. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward smile. He must like that, too – me fulfilling Charlie's conditions without involving werewolves. Angela looked relieved. â€Å"That's so nice of you. I'll come over any time you want.† â€Å"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay – I'm sick of mine. Charlie un-grounded me last night.† I grinned as I announced my good news. â€Å"Really?† Angela asked, mild excitement lighting her always-gentle brown eyes. â€Å"I thought you said you were in for life.† â€Å"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free.† â€Å"Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate.† â€Å"You have no idea how good that sounds.† â€Å"What should we do?† Alice mused, her face lighting up at the possibilities. Alice's ideas were usually a little grandiose for me, and I could see it in her eyes now – the tendency to take things too far kicking into action. â€Å"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm that free.† â€Å"Free is free, right?† she insisted. â€Å"I'm sure I still have boundaries – like the continental U.S., for example.† Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grimaced in real disappointment. â€Å"So what are we doing tonight?† she persisted. â€Å"Nothing. Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's a school night, anyway.† â€Å"We'll celebrate this weekend, then.† Alice's enthusiasm was impossible to repress. â€Å"Sure,† I said, hoping to placate her. I knew I wasn't going to do anything too outlandish; it would be safer to take it slow with Charlie. Give him a chance to appreciate how trustworthy and mature I was before I asked for any favors. Angela and Alice started talking about options; Ben joined the conversation, setting his comics aside. My attention drifted. I was surprised to find that the subject of my freedom was suddenly not as gratifying as it had been just a moment ago. While they discussed things to do in Port Angeles or maybe Hoquiam, I began to feel disgruntled. It didn't take long to determine where my restlessness stemmed from. Ever since I'd said goodbye to Jacob Black in the forest outside my home, I'd been plagued by a persistent, uncomfortable intrusion of a specific mental picture. It popped into my thoughts at regular intervals like some annoying alarm clock set to sound every half hour, filling my head with the image of Jacob's face crumpled in pain. This was the last memory I had of him. As the disturbing vision struck again, I knew exactly why I was dissatisfied with my liberty. Because it was incomplete. Sure, I was free to go to anywhere I wanted – except La Push; free to do anything I wanted – except see Jacob. I frowned at the table. There had to be some kind of middle ground. â€Å"Alice? Alice!† Angela's voice yanked me from my reverie. She was waving her hand back and forth in front of Alice's blank, staring face. Alice's expression was something I recognized – an expression that sent an automatic shock of panic through my body. The vacant look in her eyes told me that she was seeing something very different from the mundane lunchroom scene that surrounded us, but something that was every bit as real in its own way. Something that was coming, something that would happen soon. I felt the blood slither from my face. Then Edward laughed, a very natural, relaxed sound. Angela and Ben looked toward him, but my eyes were locked on Alice. She jumped suddenly, as if someone had kicked her under the table. â€Å"Is it naptime already, Alice?† Edward teased. Alice was herself again. â€Å"Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess.† â€Å"Daydreaming's better than facing two more hours of school,† Ben said. Alice threw herself back into the conversation with more animation than before – just a little bit too much. Once I saw her eyes lock with Edward's, only for a moment, and then she looked back to Angela before anyone else noticed. Edward was quiet, playing absentmindedly with a strand of my hair. I waited anxiously for a chance to ask Edward what Alice had seen in her vision, but the afternoon passed without one minute of alone time. It felt odd to me, almost deliberate. After lunch, Edward slowed his pace to match Ben's, talking about some assignment I knew he'd already finished. Then there was always someone else there between classes, though we usually had a few minutes to ourselves. When the final bell rang, Edward struck up a conversation with Mike Newton of all people, falling into step beside him as Mike headed for the parking lot. I trailed behind, letting Edward tow me along. I listened, confused, while Mike answered Edward's unusually friendly queries. It seemed Mike was having car troubles. â€Å". . . but I just replaced the battery,† Mike was saying. His eyes darted ahead and then back to Edward warily. Mystified, just like I was. â€Å"Perhaps it's the cables?† Edward offered. â€Å"Maybe. I really don't know anything about cars,† Mike admitted. â€Å"I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's.† I opened my mouth to suggest my mechanic, and then snapped it shut again. My mechanic was busy these days – busy running around as a giant wolf. â€Å"I know a few things – I could take a look, if you like,† Edward offered. â€Å"Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home.† Mike and I both stared at Edward with our mouths hanging open. â€Å"Er . . . thanks,† Mike mumbled when he recovered. â€Å"But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time.† â€Å"Absolutely.† â€Å"See ya.† Mike climbed into his car, shaking his head in disbelief. Edward's Volvo, with Alice already inside, was just two cars away. â€Å"What was that about?† I muttered as Edward held the passenger door for me. â€Å"Just being helpful,† Edward answered. And then Alice, waiting in the backseat, was babbling at top speed. â€Å"You're really not that good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn't be fun to watch his face if Rosalie showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college, I guess that's not the best idea. Too bad. Though I suppose, for Mike's car, you'll do. It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas. . . .† I stopped listening after a minute, letting her quick voice become just a hum in the background as I settled into my patient mode. It looked to me like Edward was trying to avoid my questions. Fine. He would have to be alone with me soon enough. It was only a matter of time. Edward seemed to realize that, too. He dropped Alice at the mouth of the Cullens' drive as usual, though by this point I half expected him to drive her to the door and walk her in. As she got out, Alice threw a sharp look at his face. Edward seemed completely at ease. â€Å"See you later,† he said. And then, ever so slightly, he nodded. Alice turned to disappear into the trees. He was quiet as he turned the car around and headed back to Forks. I waited, wondering if he would bring it up himself. He didn't, and this made me tense. What had Alice seen today at lunch? Something he didn't want to tell me, and I tried to think of a reason why he would keep secrets. Maybe it would be better to prepare myself before I asked. I didn't want to freak out and have him think I couldn't handle it, whatever it was. So we were both silent until we got to back to Charlie's house. â€Å"Light homework load tonight,† he commented. â€Å"Mmm,† I assented. â€Å"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?† â€Å"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school.† But I was sure Charlie was going to turn sulky fast when he got home and found Edward here. Maybe I should make something extra-special for dinner. Inside, I headed up the stairs, and Edward followed. He lounged on my bed and gazed out the window, seeming oblivious to my edginess. I stowed my bag and turned the computer on. There was an unanswered e-mail from my mom to attend to, and she got panicky when I took too long. I drummed my fingers as I waited for my decrepit computer to wheeze awake; they snapped against the desk, staccato and anxious. And then his fingers were on mine, holding them still. â€Å"Are we a little impatient today?† he murmured. I looked up, intending to make a sarcastic remark, but his face was closer than I'd expected. His golden eyes were smoldering, just inches away, and his breath was cool against my open lips. I could taste his scent on my tongue. I couldn't remember the witty response I'd been about to make. I couldn't remember my name. He didn't give me a chance to recover. If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing Edward. There wasn't anything I'd experienced in my life that compared to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard but always so gentle, moving with mine. I didn't often get my way. So it surprised me a little when his fingers braided themselves into my hair, securing my face to his. My arms locked behind his neck, and I wished I was stronger – strong enough to keep him prisoner here. One hand slid down my back, pressing me tighter against his stone chest. Even through his sweater, his skin was cold enough to make me shiver – it was a shiver of pleasure, of happiness, but his hands began to loosen in response. I knew I had about three seconds before he would sigh and slide me deftly away, saying something about how we'd risked my life enough for one afternoon. Making the most of my last seconds, I crushed myself closer, molding myself to the shape of him. The tip of my tongue traced the curve of his lower lip; it was as flawlessly smooth as if it had been polished, and the taste – He pulled my face away from his, breaking my hold with ease – he probably didn't even realize that I was using all my strength. He chuckled once, a low, throaty sound. His eyes were bright with the excitement he so rigidly disciplined. â€Å"Ah, Bella.† He sighed. â€Å"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.† â€Å"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed.† I exhaled a little dizzily. â€Å"If you think that's necessary. . . .† He smiled crookedly and disentangled himself. I shook my head a few times, trying to clear it, and turned back to my computer. It was all warmed up and humming now. Well, not as much humming as groaning. â€Å"Tell Rene I said hello.† â€Å"Sure thing.† I scanned through Rene's e-mail, shaking my head now and then at some of the dippier things she'd done. I was just as entertained and horrified as the first time I'd read this. It was so like my mother to forget exactly how paralyzed she was by heights until she was already strapped to a parachute and a dive instructor. I felt a little frustrated with Phil, her husband of almost two years, for allowing that one. I would have taken better care of her. I knew her so much better. You have to let them go their own way eventually, I reminded myself. You have to let them have their own life. . . . I'd spent most of my life taking care of Rene, patiently guiding her away from her craziest plans, good- naturedly enduring the ones I couldn't talk her out of. I'd always been indulgent with my mom, amused by her, even a little condescending to her. I saw her cornucopia of mistakes and laughed privately to myself. Scatterbrained Rene. I was a very different person from my mother. Someone thoughtful and cautious. The responsible one, the grown-up. That's how I saw myself. That was the person I knew. With the blood still pounding inmy head from Edward's kiss, I couldn't help but think of my mother's most life-altering mistake. Silly and romantic, getting married fresh out of high school to a man she barely knew, then producing me a year later. She'd always promised me that she had no regrets, that I was the best gift her life had ever given her. And yet she'd drilled it into me over and over – smart people took marriage seriously. Mature people went to college and started careers before they got deeply involved in a relationship. She knew I would never be as thoughtless and goofy and small-town as she'd been. . . . I gritted my teeth and tried to concentrate as I answered her letter. Then I hit her parting line and remembered why I'd neglected to write sooner. You haven't said anything about Jacob in a long time, she'd written. What's he up to these days? Charlie was prompting her, I was sure. I sighed and typed quickly, tucking the answer to her question between two less sensitive paragraphs. Jacob is fine, I guess. I don't see him much; he spends most of his time with a pack of his friends down at La Push these days. Smiling wryly to myself, I added Edward's greeting and hit â€Å"send.† I didn't realize that Edward was standing silently behind me again until after I'd turned off the computer and shoved away from the desk. I was about to scold him for reading over my shoulder when I realized that he wasn't paying any attention to me. He was examining a flat black box with wires curling crookedly away from the main square in a way that didn't look healthy for whatever it was. After a second, I recognized the car stereo Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had given me for my last birthday. I'd forgotten about the birthday presents hiding under a growing pile of dust on the floor of my closet. â€Å"What did you do to this?† he asked in a horrorstruck voice. â€Å"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard.† â€Å"So you felt the need to torture it?† â€Å"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally.† He shook his head, his face a mask of faux tragedy. â€Å"You killed it.† I shrugged. â€Å"Oh, well.† â€Å"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this,† he said. â€Å"I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice.† â€Å"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo.† â€Å"It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it.† I sighed. â€Å"You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year,† he said in a disgruntled voice. Suddenly, he was fanning himself with a stiff rectangle of paper. I didn't answer, for fear my voice would shake. My disastrous eighteenth birthday – with all its far- reaching consequences – wasn't something I cared to remember, and I was surprised that he would bring it up. He was even more sensitive about it than I was. â€Å"Do you realize these are about to expire?† he asked, holding the paper out to me. It was another present – the voucher for airplane tickets that Esme and Carlisle had given me so that I could visit Rene in Florida. I took a deep breath and answered in a flat voice. â€Å"No. I'd forgotten all about them, actually.† His expression was carefully bright and positive; there was no trace of any deep emotion as he continued. â€Å"Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated . . . and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me.† He grinned. â€Å"Why not celebrate your freedom this way?† I gasped. â€Å"By going to Florida?† â€Å"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable.† I glared at him, suspicious, trying to understand where this had come from. â€Å"Well?† he demanded. â€Å"Are we going to see Rene or not?† â€Å"Charlie will never allow it.† â€Å"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody.† â€Å"Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult.† He flashed a brilliant smile. â€Å"Exactly.† I thought it over for a short minute before deciding that it wasn't worth the fight. Charlie would be furious – not that I was going to see Rene, but that Edward was going with me. Charlie wouldn't speak to me for months, and I'd probably end up grounded again. It was definitely smarter not to even bring it up. Maybe in a few weeks, as a graduation favor or something. But the idea of seeing my mother now, not weeks from now, was hard to resist. It had been so long since I'd seen Rene. And even longer since I'd seen her under pleasant circumstances. The last time I'd been with her in Phoenix, I'd spent the whole time in a hospital bed. The last time she'd come here, I'd been more or less catatonic. Not exactly the best memories to leave her with. And maybe, if she saw how happy I was with Edward, she would tell Charlie to ease up. Edward scrutinized my face while I deliberated. I sighed. â€Å"Not this weekend.† â€Å"Why not?† â€Å"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me.† His eyebrows pulled together. â€Å"I think this weekend is perfect,† he muttered. I shook my head. â€Å"Another time.† â€Å"You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know.† He frowned at me. Suspicion returned. This kind of behavior was unlike him. He was always so impossibly selfless; I knew it was making me spoiled. â€Å"You can go anywhere you want,† I pointed out. â€Å"The outside world holds no interest for me without you.† I rolled my eyes at the hyperbole. â€Å"I'm serious,† he said. â€Å"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right? For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles. . . .† He groaned. â€Å"Never mind. We'll talk about it later.† â€Å"There's nothing left to talk about.† He shrugged. â€Å"Okay, then, new subject,† I said. I'd almost forgotten my worries about this afternoon – had that been his intention? â€Å"What did Alice see today at lunch?† My eyes were fixed on his face as I spoke, measuring his reaction. His expression was composed; there was only the slightest hardening of his topaz eyes. â€Å"She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former . . . family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back.† He sighed. â€Å"It's got her worried.† â€Å"Oh.† That was nothing close to what I'd been expecting. But of course it made sense that Alice would be watching out for Jasper's future. He was her soul mate, her true other half, though they weren't as flamboyant about their relationship as Rosalie and Emmett were. â€Å"Why didn't you tell me before?† â€Å"I didn't realize you'd noticed,† he said. â€Å"It's probably nothing important, in any case.† My imagination was sadly out of control. I'd taken a perfectly normal afternoon and twisted it until it looked like Edward was going out of his way to keep things from me. I needed therapy. We went downstairs to work on our homework, just in case Charlie showed up early. Edward finished in minutes; I slogged laboriously through my calculus until I decided it was time to fix Charlie's dinner. Edward helped, making faces every so often at the raw ingredients – human food was mildly repulsive to him. I made stroganoff from Grandma Swan's recipe, because I was sucking up. It wasn't one of my favorites, but it would please Charlie. Charlie seemed to already be in a good mood when he got home. He didn't even go out of his way to be rude to Edward. Edward excused himself from eating with us, as usual. The sound of the nightly news drifted from the front room, but I doubted Edward was really watching. After forcing down three helpings, Charlie kicked his feet up on the spare chair and folded his hands contentedly across his distended stomach. â€Å"That was great, Bells.† â€Å"I'm glad you liked it. How was work?† He'd been eating with too much concentration for me to make conversation before. â€Å"Sort of slow. Well, dead slow really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon,† he admitted with a grin. â€Å"I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while.† I tried to keep my expression the same. â€Å"How is he?† â€Å"Good, good. His joints are bothering him a little.† â€Å"Oh. That's too bad.† â€Å"Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwaters and the Uleys over too. Sort of a playoff party. . . .† â€Å"Huh,† was my genius response. But what could I say? I knew I wouldn't be allowed to hit a werewolf party, even with parental supervision. I wondered if Edward would have a problem with Charlie hanging out in La Push. Or would he suppose that, since Charlie was mostly spending time with Billy, who was only human, my father wouldn't be in danger? I got up and piled the dishes together without looking at Charlie. I dumped them into the sink and started the water. Edward appeared silently and grabbed a dishtowel. Charlie sighed and gave up for the moment, though I imagined he would revisit the subject when we were alone again. He heaved himself to his feet and headed for the TV, just like every other night. â€Å"Charlie,† Edward said in a conversational tone. Charlie stopped in the middle of his little kitchen. â€Å"Yeah?† â€Å"Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Rene?† I dropped the plate I was scrubbing. It glanced off the counter and clattered noisily to the floor. It didn't break, but it spattered the room, and all three of us, with soapy water. Charlie didn't even seem to notice. â€Å"Bella?† he asked in a stunned voice. I kept my eyes on the plate as I retrieved it. â€Å"Yeah, they did.† Charlie swallowed loudly, and then his eyes narrowed as he turned back to Edward. â€Å"No, she never mentioned it.† â€Å"Hmm,† Edward murmured. â€Å"Was there a reason you brought it up?† Charlie asked in a hard voice. Edward shrugged. â€Å"They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not that she'd say anything.† I stared at Edward in disbelief. Charlie thought for a minute. â€Å"It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella. She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though.† â€Å"I forgot,† I admitted. He frowned. â€Å"You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?† â€Å"Mmm,† I murmured vaguely, and turned back to the sink. â€Å"I noticed that you said they're about to expire, Edward,† Charlie went on. â€Å"How many tickets did your parents give her?† â€Å"Just one for her . . . and one for me.† The plate I dropped this time landed in the sink, so it didn't make as much noise. I could easily hear the sharp huff as my father exhaled. The blood rushed into my face, fueled by irritation and chagrin. Why was Edward doing this? I glared at the bubbles in the sink, panicking. â€Å"That's out of the question!† Charlie was abruptly in a rage, shouting the words. â€Å"Why?† Edward asked, his voice saturated with innocent surprise. â€Å"You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother.† Charlie ignored him. â€Å"You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!† he yelled. I spun around and he was jabbing a finger at me. Anger pulsed through me automatically, an instinctive reaction to his tone. â€Å"I'm not a child, Dad. And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?† â€Å"Oh yes, you are. Starting now.† â€Å"For what?!† â€Å"Because I said so.† â€Å"Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?† â€Å"This is my house – you follow my rules!† My glare turned icy. â€Å"If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?† Charlie's face went bright red. I instantly felt horrible for playing the move-out card. I took a deep breath and tried to make my tone more reasonable. â€Å"I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices.† He sputtered, but managed nothing coherent. â€Å"Now, I know that you know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela.† â€Å"Girls,† he grunted, with a nod. â€Å"Would it bother you if I took Jacob?† I'd only picked the name because I knew of my father's preference for Jacob, but I quickly wished I hadn't; Edward's teeth clenched together with an audible snap. My father struggled to compose himself before he answered. â€Å"Yes,† he said in an unconvincing voice. â€Å"That would bother me.† â€Å"You're a rotten liar, Dad.† â€Å"Bella -â€Å" â€Å"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see Mom,† I reminded him. â€Å"She's just as much my parental authority as you are.† He threw me a withering look. â€Å"Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?† Charlie flinched at the threat implicit in my question. â€Å"You'd better hope I don't mention this to her,† I said. â€Å"You'd better not,† he warned. â€Å"I'm not happy about this, Bella.† â€Å"There's no reason for you to be upset.† He rolled his eyes, but I could tell the storm was over. I turned to pull the plug out of the sink. â€Å"So my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded. I'm going out. I'll be back before ten-thirty.† â€Å"Where are you going?† His face, almost back to normal, flushed light red again. â€Å"I'm not sure,† I admitted. â€Å"I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?† He grunted something that did not sound like approval, and stalked out of the room. Naturally, as soon as I'd won the fight, I began to feel guilty. â€Å"We're going out?† Edward asked, his voice low but enthusiastic. I turned to glower at him. â€Å"Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you alone.† He didn't look as apprehensive as I thought he should. I waited to begin until we were safely in his car. â€Å"What was that?† I demanded. â€Å"I know you want to see your mother, Bella – you've been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually.† â€Å"I have?† He nodded. â€Å"But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf.† â€Å"Interceded? You threw me to the sharks!† He rolled his eyes. â€Å"I don't think you were in any danger.† â€Å"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie.† â€Å"Nobody said that you had to.† I glowered at him. â€Å"I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that – my natural teenage instincts overpower me.† He chuckled. â€Å"Well, that's not my fault.† I stared at him, speculating. He didn't seem to notice. His face was serene as he gazed out the windshield. Something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Or maybe it was just my imagination again, running wild like it had this afternoon. â€Å"Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?† His jaw flexed. â€Å"Nothing at all. It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going.† It was just like with Charlie before – just like being treated as a misbehaving child. I gritted my teeth together so I wouldn't start shouting. I didn't want to fight with Edward, too. Edward sighed, and when he spoke his voice was warm and velvet again. â€Å"So what do you want to do tonight?† he asked. â€Å"Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long.† He smiled. â€Å"She'll like that. Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend.† I groaned in defeat. We didn't stay out late, as I'd promised. I was not surprised to see the lights still on when we pulled up in front of the house – I knew Charlie would be waiting to yell at me some more. â€Å"You'd better not come inside,† I said. â€Å"It will only make things worse.† â€Å"His thoughts are relatively calm,† Edward teased. His expression made me wonder if there was some additional joke I was missing. The corners of his mouth twitched, fighting a smile. â€Å"I'll see you later,† I muttered glumly. He laughed and kissed the top of my head. â€Å"I'll be back when Charlie's snoring.† The TV was loud when I got inside. I briefly considered trying to sneak past him. â€Å"Could you come in here, Bella?† Charlie called, sinking that plan. My feet dragged as I took the five necessary steps. â€Å"What's up, Dad?† â€Å"Did you have a nice time tonight?† he asked. He seemed ill at ease. I looked for hidden meanings in his words before I answered. â€Å"Yes,† I said hesitantly. â€Å"What did you do?† I shrugged. â€Å"Hung out with Alice and Jasper. Edward beat Alice at chess, and then I played Jasper. He buried me.† I smiled. Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. They'd sat there nearly motionless, staring at the board, while Alice foresaw the moves he would make and he picked the moves she would make in return out of her head. They played most of the game in their minds; I think they'd each moved two pawns when Alice suddenly flicked her king over and surrendered. It took all of three minutes. Charlie hit the mute button – an unusual action. â€Å"Look, there's something I need to say.† He frowned, looking very uncomfortable. I sat still, waiting. He met my gaze for a second before shifting his eyes to the floor. He didn't say anything more. â€Å"What is it, Dad?† He sighed. â€Å"I'm not good at this kind of thing. I don't know how to start. . . .† I waited again. â€Å"Okay, Bella. Here's the thing.† He got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth across the room, looking as his feet all the time. â€Å"You and Edward seem pretty serious, and there are some things that you need to be careful about. I know you're an adult now, but you're still young, Bella, and there are a lot of important things you need to know when you . . . well, when you're physically involved with -â€Å" â€Å"Oh, please, please no!† I begged, jumping to my feet. â€Å"Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie.† He glared at the floor. â€Å"I am your father. I have responsibilities. Remember, I'm just as embarrassed as you are.† â€Å"I don't think that's humanly possible. Anyway, Mom beat you to the punch about ten years ago. You're off the hook.† â€Å"Ten years ago you didn't have a boyfriend,† he muttered unwillingly. I could tell he was battling with his desire to drop the subject. We were both standing up, looking at the floor, and facing away from each other. â€Å"I don't think the essentials have changed that much,† I mumbled, and my face had to be as red as his. This was beyond the seventh circle of Hades; even worse was realizing that Edward had known this was coming. No wonder he'd seemed so smug in the car. â€Å"Just tell me that you two are being responsible,† Charlie pled, obviously wishing a pit would open in the floor so that he could fall in. â€Å"Don't worry about it, Dad, it's not like that.† â€Å"Not that I don't trust you, Bella, but I know you don't want to tell me anything about this, and you know I don't really want to hear it. I will try to be open-minded, though. I know the times have changed.† I laughed awkwardly. â€Å"Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about.† Charlie sighed. â€Å"Sure he is,† he muttered. â€Å"Ugh!† I groaned. â€Å"I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. Really. But . . . I am a . . . virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.† We both cringed, but then Charlie's face smoothed out. He seemed to believe me. â€Å"Can I go to bed, now? Please.† â€Å"In a minute,† he said. â€Å"Aw, please, Dad? I'm begging you.† â€Å"The embarrassing part's over, I promise,† he assured me. I shot a glance at him, and was grateful to see that he looked more relaxed, that his face was back to its regular color. He sank down onto the sofa, sighing with relief that he was past the sex speech. â€Å"What now?† â€Å"I just wanted to know how the balance thing is coming along.† â€Å"Oh. Good, I guess. I made plans with Angela today. I'm going to help her with her graduation announcements. Just us girls.† â€Å"That's nice. And what about Jake?† I sighed. â€Å"I haven't figured that one out yet, Dad.† â€Å"Keep trying, Bella. I know you'll do the right thing. You're a good person.† Nice. So if I didn't figure out some way to make things right with Jacob, then I was a bad person? That was below the belt. â€Å"Sure, sure,† I agreed. The automatic response almost made me smile – it was something I'd picked up from Jacob. I even said it in the same patronizing tone he used with his own father. Charlie grinned and turned the sound back on. He slumped lower into the cushions, pleased with his night's work. I could tell he would be up with the game for a while. â€Å"‘Night, Bells.† â€Å"See you in the morning!† I sprinted for the stairs. Edward was long gone and he wouldn't be back until Charlie was asleep – he was probably out hunting or something to pass the time – so I was in no hurry to undress for bed. I wasn't in the mood to be alone, but I certainly wasn't going to go back downstairs to hang out with my Dad, just in case he thought of some topic of sex education that he hadn't touched on before; I shuddered. So, thanks to Charlie, I was wound up and anxious. My homework was done and I didn't feel mellow enough for reading or just listening to music. I considered calling Rene with the news of my visit, but then I realized that it was three hours later in Florida, and she would be asleep. I could call Angela, I supposed. But suddenly I knew that it wasn't Angela that I wanted to talk to. That I needed to talk to. I stared at the blank black window, biting my lip. I don't know how long I stood there weighing the pros against the cons – doing the right thing by Jacob, seeing my closest friend again, being a good person, versus making Edward furious with me. Ten minutes maybe. Long enough to decide that the pros were valid while the cons were not. Edward was only concerned about my safety, and I knew that there was really no problem on that count. The phone wasn't any help; Jacob had refused to answer my phone calls since Edward's return. Besides, I needed to see him – see him smiling again the way he used to. I needed to replace that awful last memory of his face warped and twisted by pain if I was ever going to have any peace of mind. I had an hour probably. I could make a quick run down to La Push and be back before Edward realized I had gone. It was past my curfew, but would Charlie really care about that when Edward wasn't involved? One way to find out. I grabbed my jacket and shoved my arms through the sleeves as I ran down the stairs. Charlie looked up from the game, instantly suspicious. â€Å"You care if I go see Jake tonight?† I asked breathlessly. â€Å"I won't stay long.† As soon as I said Jake's name, Charlie's expression relaxed into a smug smile. He didn't seem surprised at all that his lecture had taken effect so quickly. â€Å"Sure, kid. No problem. Stay as long as you like.† â€Å"Thanks, Dad,† I said as I darted out the door. Like any fugitive, I couldn't help looking over my shoulder a few times while I jogged to my truck, but the night was so black that there really was no point. I had to feel my way along the side of the truck to the handle. My eyes were just beginning to adjust as I shoved my keys in the ignition. I twisted them hard to the left, but instead of roaring deafeningly to life, the engine just clicked. I tried it again with the same results. And then a small motion in my peripheral vision made me jump. â€Å"Gah!† I gasped in shock when I saw that I was not alone in the cab. Edward sat very still, a faint bright spot in the darkness, only his hands moving as he turned a mysterious black object around and around. He stared at the object as he spoke. â€Å"Alice called,† he murmured. Alice! Damn. I'd forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me. â€Å"She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago.† My eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider. â€Å"Because she can't see the wolves, you know,† he explained in the same low murmur. â€Å"Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little . . . anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs. â€Å"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?† He spoke as if he were talking to himself now, still looking at the piece of my truck's engine as he twirled it in his hands. â€Å"That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks' at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them. . . .† I listened to his musing in stony silence. â€Å"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself,† he assured me after a minute. With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck. â€Å"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand,† he whispered just before I slammed the door. I stomped into the house, slamming that door, too. â€Å"What's wrong?† Charlie demanded from the couch. â€Å"Truck won't start,† I growled. â€Å"Want me to look at it?† â€Å"No. I'll try it in the morning.† â€Å"Want to use my car?† I wasn't supposed to drive his police cruiser. Charlie must be really desperate to get me to La Push. Nearly as desperate as I was. â€Å"No. I'm tired,† I grumbled. â€Å"‘Night.† I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my window. I shoved the metal frame roughly – it crashed shut and the glass trembled. I stared at the shivering black glass for a long moment, until it was still. Then I sighed, and opened the window as wide as it would go.